PART 26: VIOLET

December 2020, Sydney

So, I am officially done with work for 2020. I had my last booking today. I did my last shift at my parlour yesterday. I celebrated a little prematurely. I counted yesterday as my last day of work, I think because my private booking feels less like work. Like, not getting up in the morning, getting ready, catching the bus, going to work sitting there, doing the intros. Just knowing that I'm going to a booking and that its guaranteed money and a more casual setting. It's a different mindset for me. So yesterday was what I counted as my last day of work. I finished and then my boyfriend came over. I was like feeling good and I went to have a couple of drinks and celebrate me finishing work. So we had a couple of drinks. I perhaps drank too much and I woke up this morning, and I was like, “oh fuck, no, I've gotta go to work again”.

It was a little Christmas celebration so we were drinking and I got drunk again. And I got home today, around five, I guess. There's been a giant spider hanging around in my stairwell and it kind of slowly worked its way up to just above my door. And I'd had enough to drink that I was full of liquid courage. So I went and I got the fly spray and I just went at this spider. Took ages to die. Jesus Christ, it just wouldn't go down. Now, it's missing somewhere. It fell off the wall. And I don't know where it is. So I'm half expecting it to turn up in my house somewhere in the middle of the night. I'm alone at the moment. So I'm gonna have to deal with it myself.

My housemate is out of town for the weekend, she gets back on Monday. And then I leave on Tuesday to go back home. Going back to my hometown again for Christmas this year. So I've got a week to do nothing in Sydney. To hang out, having an early Christmas with my boyfriend, kind of decompress and get out of my sex work a headspace and go back to just being like, redacted, Me.  Which will be nice. And this is actually my last year being a full-time sex worker. I know I talked a lot this past year, early this year, late last year, about kind of feeling like I was in this rut, I guess, and thinking a lot about doing things over.

But I have enrolled to study again. And it's only going to take a little bit under a year to finish what I want to do. The intent is to enter the workforce in that industry as soon as I can. I don't know if I want to go into full-time work in a different job. I always imagined that I would kind of sidle into a new industry while still working part-time and then maybe doing like one day a week. Still working at my regular place just to kind of not jump into the deep end. Because I am, by nature, very lazy, very slow moving. I love to live life on my own terms. So I think to go straight to a nine-to-five would be a bit of a shock to me. I've been really spoiled by the sex industry.

I'm feeling really optimistic about it. I'm feeling really excited. I feel like it's definitely time for me and I have a real strong desire this time around. I've tried to study a few times before and it's never stuck. I feel like this time it's the one. So I'm going to start doing that and then I'm also going to start a course speaking Polish. I'll be doing that on Saturday. So I'll be studying in an industry, a different industry, and I'll be learning how to speak Polski. So 2021 is going to be an interesting year for me.